Hallmark Cards !

1. I always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. And now that you’ve come into my life…

(Inside card) – I’ve changed my mind.

2. I must admit, you brought religion into my life…

(Inside card) – I never believed in Hell until I met you.

3. As the days go by, I think how lucky I am….

(Inside card) – That you’re not here to ruin it for me .

4. Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go….

(Inside card) – Will you take the knife from my back? You’ll probably need it again.

5. Happy Birthday! You look great for your age….

(Inside card) – Almost lifelike!

6. When we were together, you said you’d die for me…

(Inside card) – Now we’ve broken up, I think it’s time to keep your promise.

7. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy….

(Inside card) – Did you ever find out who the father was?

8. You are such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket…

(Inside card) – I’d miss you terribly and think of you often .

9. Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday…

(Inside card) – So we’re having you put to sleep.

10. Looking back over the years that we have been together, I can’t help but wonder…..

(Inside card) – What the hell was I thinking

11. I’m so miserable without you…

(Inside card) – It’s almost like you’re still here.

12. Thank you for being part of my life…..

(Inside card) – I never knew what evil was until I met you!

13. Congratulations on your wedding day!…

(Inside card) – Too bad no one likes your husband.

14. How can I say this….

(Inside card) – Your cooking kills me

15. Hooray…..

(Inside card) – You’re divorced.

16. I just want you to know that I’m sorry for what happened…

(Inside card) – Especially since you survived.

1 7. Congrats on getting married…

(Inside card) – It’s not everyday you decide to ruin your life.

18. Someday I hope to marry…

(inside card) – Someone other than you.

19. We have been friends for a very long time…

(inside card) -What do you say we stop?