Father passing by his teenage daughter’s bedroom
was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was neat
& tidy. Then he saw an envelope propped up on the centre of
the pillow. It was addressed “Dad”.
With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter:

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret & sorrow that I’m writing you, but I’m
leaving home.I had to elope with my new boyfriend Randy because I wanted to
avoid a scene with Mom & you. I’ve been finding real passion with
Randy & he is so nice to me. I know when you meet him you’ll like him too. Even with all his piercing, tattoos, & motorcycle clothes.
But it’s not only the passion Dad, I’m pregnant &
Randy said that he wants me to have the kid & that we’ll be very happy
together. Even though Randy is much older than me
(anyway,40 isnt so old these days is it?),& has nomoney,
really these things shouldn’t stand in the way of our relationship,
don’t you agree?

Randy has a great CD collection; he already owns a trailer in the woods
& has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. It’s true he has
other girlfrnds as well but I know he’ll be faithful to me in his own
way. Randy taught me that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone and he’ll
be growing it for us and we’ll trade it with our friends for all
the cocaine and ecstasy we want.
In the meantime, we’ll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS
so Randy can get better; he sure deserves it!!

Don’t worry Dad, I’m 15 years old now and I know
how to take care of myself. Someday I’m sure we’ll be back to visit so
you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your loving daughter,
Rosie

At the bottom of the page were the letters ‘PTO’
Hands trembling, her father turned the sheet, and read:

PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at the neighbor’shouse.I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that’s in my desk centre drawer.
Please sign it and call when it is safe for me
to come home. I love you !!

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