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Rohit woke up one fine morning with a huge hangover. He forced himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he saw is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sat down and sees his clothing in front of him,
all clean and pressed.

Rohit looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean.
So is the rest of the house.

He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table.

“Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love You!”

So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.

Rohit asks, “Son, what happened last night?”

His son says, “Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious.

Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye
when you stumbled into the door”.

Totally Confused, Rohit asks, “So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me? I should expect a big quarrel with her!”

His son replies, “Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your clothes n shoes off, you said , “hey !!!!!!! leave me alone! I’m married!”

Moral

Breakfast — Rs. 100.00
Self-induced hangover — Rs. 2000.00
Broken furniture — Rs. 20,000.00
Saying The Right Thing While Drunk – PRICELESS

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Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel shamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams If I didn’t drink this wine, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, “It is better that I drink this wine and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.”
~ Jack Handy

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“I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.” 
~Frank Sinatra

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
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“When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.”
~ Henny Youngman

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

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“24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not.”
~ Stephen Wright

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

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“When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk,
we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.

When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let’s all

get drunk and go to heaven!”

~ Brian O’Rourke

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“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.”
~ Benjamin Franklin

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

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“Without question, the greatest invention in the
history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the

wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does

not go nearly as well with pizza.”

~ Dave Barry

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
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To some it’s a six-pack, to me it’s a Support Group. Salvation in a can!
~
Dave Howell
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite s e x without spitting.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers. One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm.
Here’s how it went:

“Well ya see, Norm, it’s like this… A herd of buffalo
can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when

the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones

at the back that are killed first This natural selection is

good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the

regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the

slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we

know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers.”

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So my dear non-drinking friends get inspired and start drinking… J
(* conditions applied)

Who says we can’t see future!!!
I get to see my past, present and future…

stages.jpg

1. Symptom: Cold and humid feet.

Cause: Glass is being held at incorrect angle (You are pouring the drink on your feet).

Cure: Maneuver glass until open end is facing upward.

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