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1.”We will do it” means “You will do it”

2.”You have done a great job” means “More work to be given to you”

3.”We are working on it” means “We have not yet started working on the
same”

4.”Tomorrow first thing in the morning” means “Its not getting done
“At least not tomorrow!”

5.”After discussion we will decide-I am very open to views” means “I
have already decided, I will tell you what to do”

6.”There was a slight miscommunication” means “We had actually lied”

7.”Lets call a meeting and discuss” means “I have no time now, will
talk later”

8.”We can always do it” means “We actually cannot do the same on time”

9.”We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension
of the deadline” means “The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver
on time.”

10.”We had slight differences of opinion “means “We had actually
fought”

11.”Make a list of the work that you do and let’s see how I can help
you” means “Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me”

12.”You should have told me earlier” means “Well even if you told me
earlier that would have made hardly any difference!”

13.”We need to find out the real reason” means “Well I will tell you
where your fault is”

14.”Well Family is important; your leave is always granted. Just
ensure that the work is not affected,” means, “Well you know…”

15.”We are a team,” means, “I am not the only one to be blamed”

16.”That’s actually a good question” means “I do not know anything
about it”

17.”All the Best” means “You are in trouble”

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 1. At the movies:
When you meet acquaintances/friends…
Stupid Question:- Hey, what are you doing here?

Answer:- Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here..

2. In the bus:
A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet…
Stupid Question:- Sorry, did that hurt?

Answer:- No, not at all, I’m on local anesthesia…..why don’t you try again.

3. At a funeral:
One of the teary-eyed people ask…
Stupid Question:- Why, why him, of all people.

Answer:- Why? Would it rather have been you?

4. At a restaurant:
When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question:- Is the “Butter Paneer Masala” good??

Answer:- No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occasionally also spit in it.

5. At a family get-together:
When some distant aunt meets you after years
Stupid Question:-Munna,Chickoo, you’ve become so big.

Answer:- Well you haven’t particularly shrunk yourself.

6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask…
Stupid Question:- Is the guy you’re marrying good?

Answer:- No,he’s a miserable wife-beating ,isensitive lout…it’s just the money.

7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call…
Stupid Question:- Sorry. were you sleeping?

Answer:- No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping…. you dumb witted moron.

8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair…
Stupid Question:- Hey have you had a haircut?

Answer:- No, its autumn and I’m shedding……

9. At the dentist when he’s sticking pointed objects in your mouth…
Stupid Question:- Tell me if it hurts?

Answer:- No it wont. It will just bleed.

10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman in your office asks…
Stupid Question:- Oh, so you smoke.

Answer:-
Gosh, it’s a miracle …………it was a piece of chalk and now it’s in flames!!!

1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321

1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111

9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888

Brilliant, isn’t it?

And finally, take a look at this symmetry:

1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111=12345678987654321

att265176.jpg

Really liked this a lot… Quite a bit of it is true as well…

YOUR DNA.

This is so cool! When you link on, a series of about 12 pictures will come up —

Click on a photo in that category.

Just continue clicking on the pics that appeal to you after reading the category. At the end it will give you a profile of yourself.

http://DNA.imagini.net/friends/

You need not join the site..

My results:

visual_dna.jpg

Rohit woke up one fine morning with a huge hangover. He forced himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he saw is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sat down and sees his clothing in front of him,
all clean and pressed.

Rohit looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean.
So is the rest of the house.

He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table.

“Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love You!”

So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.

Rohit asks, “Son, what happened last night?”

His son says, “Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious.

Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye
when you stumbled into the door”.

Totally Confused, Rohit asks, “So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me? I should expect a big quarrel with her!”

His son replies, “Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your clothes n shoes off, you said , “hey !!!!!!! leave me alone! I’m married!”

Moral

Breakfast — Rs. 100.00
Self-induced hangover — Rs. 2000.00
Broken furniture — Rs. 20,000.00
Saying The Right Thing While Drunk – PRICELESS

Thought-provoking read!!

Let me ask a question first.
How many of us know that in 1947 when India got independence 1 Rupee was 1.2 US dollars?
What type of economic strength is preferable to India?
A) A strong Indian economy fueled by its cheap labor due to a weaker rupee against dollar, where the Indians end up working in shifts, late nights, whole nights and what not… only doing low profile jobs which foreign companies want to offload to India, so that they can concentrate on high end works and become even better. For instance in IT field, providing BPO services, support and maintenance work for products…
OR
B) A strong Indian economy fueled by its strong innovations and products, no matter whether the rupee is strong or weak against dollar.. where Indians work only in regular office hours of 9 to 6, developing cutting edge technologies and solutions, selling our world class products both inside and outside India. For instance in IT field, imagine operating systems, compilers, databases etc all coming out of India..


I do not deny the fact that the IT boom in India came to a large extent because of (A). Well and good, we have had the benefits of our cost being cheap in western markets due to a weak rupee against dollar.. We have had our share because of this advantage in the past 2 decades..
But at the same time doesn’t it make sense to move towards (B), instead of crying foul against rupee becoming stronger against dollar?
What a pity! Indian IT companies are feeling bad because rupee is becoming stronger against dollar! Reason, their profits will go down when the value of rupee is stronger, as every single dollar that comes into their account now means lesser rupee than earlier..(if for instance earlier they used to get 47 rupees for every dollar that comes in, but today its about 40!)
But isn’t this a matter of celebration? Our rupee is gaining importance internationally and is becoming stronger again .. How many of us know that in 1947 when India got independence 1 Rupee was 1.2 US dollars?
These Indian IT companies instead of relying on a weaker rupee for their profit should now look at coming out with innovative products and technical solutions. What have these companies done in the arena of core system products? Why don’t we have any operating systems, compilers, database systems, development platforms etc coming out of India? Why don’t we develop tools like photoshop or flash? We have talent, but they all are working in American companies on these products… Cannot our Indian IT companies setup at least small teams to develop such products?
Instead they are planning to make their employees work on saturdays too! So that their profits can increase due to extra hours the employees put in… As if India doesn’t have any other option other than cheap labor, workaholic labor!! Are there no brains in India who can setup companies developing products and make money just by printing out more serial numbers and burning their product DVDs?
If Indian companies continue to depend on its weak currency, then how would Indian economy survive in a world where all currencies have equal value? Survival of the fittest… Only greater innovation can help us in that case…
We need to have knowledge and technological advantage if India wants to become a superpower, not low cost based cheap labor advantage! Let the Chinese do it…
I hope that rupee becomes more and stronger so that Indians are forced to use their brains and come up with innovative products and next generation technologies, than to provide low end services…
We need to create a situation where other countries line up to buy our F-16s, to buy our operating systems, to buy our mobile phones and I-pods, to buy our Boeing, to buy our Mercedes…
A stronger rupee means we can easily afford foreign trips!
“A stronger rupee means Indians can buy things anywhere in the world on par with developed economies! We don’t have to spend crores of rupees then to buy a Boeing! We don’t have to pay tens of thousands of rupees for international air travels! A stronger rupee means greater international exposure! There won’t be a difference between buying a Maruti and buying a Mercedes! One can go on a trip to the Grand Canyon just like the way one goes to Ladakh or Nepal! How do you think Americans are able to tour all over the world? Because they earn more? No. But because their currency USD is stronger… And this is where a strong rupee will lead us to! “
I am not saying providing low end services are wrong… It gave us a very good start in the 90s. But that should definitely not be the bread and butter fueling our economic boom indefinitely in the future… For the simple reason that it can’t continue to do so any longer… other low cost destinations, cheaper than India are already coming up in the world…

Let us move ahead… become more innovative… the journey has just started… This is just the beginning of all the beginnings.

1.Have a firm handshake.

2.
Look people in the eye.

3.
Sing in the shower.

4.
Own a great stereo system.

5.
If in a fight, hit first and hit hard.

6.
Keep secrets.

7.
Never give up on anybody. Miracles happen everyday.

8.
Always accept an outstretched hand.

9.
Be brave. Even if you’re not, pretend to be. No one can tell the difference.

10.
Whistle.

11.
Avoid sarcastic remarks.

12.
Choose your life’s mate carefully. From this one decision will come per cent of all your happiness or misery.

13.
Make it a habit to do nice things for people who will never find out.

14.
Lend only those books you never care to see again.

15.
Never deprive someone of hope; it might be all that they have.

16.
When playing games with children, let them win.

17.
Give people a second chance, but not a third.

18.
Be romantic.

19.
Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.

20.
Loosen up. Relax. Except for rare life-and-death matters, nothing is as important as it first seems.

Read the rest of this entry »

Top Rajnikant Facts Published
rajni
* There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Rajnikant has allowed to live.
* Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Rajnikant.
* Rajnikant counted to infinity – twice.
* When Rajnikant does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
* Rajnikant is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
* Rajnikant’s hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
* Rajnikant doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
* Rajnikant gave Mona Lisa that smile.
* Rajnikant can slam a revolving door.
* Rajnikant does not get frostbite. Rajnikant bites frost.
* Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a Padayappa on Satellite TV
* There are no races, only countries of people Rajnikant has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
* Rajnikant’s house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
* When Rajnikant has sex with a man, it won’t be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.
* Rajnikant doesn’t actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
* Rajnikant can divide by zero.
* Newton’s Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Rajnikant turnaround kick.
* For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Rajnikant, each testicle is larger than the other one.
* When taking the GRE, write “Rajnikant” for every answer. You will score over 1600.
* Rajnikant invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
* In the beginning there was nothing…then Rajnikant kicked that nothing in the face and said “Get a job”. That is the story of the universe.
* Rajnikant has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
* Rajnikant grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
* Archeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined “victim” as “one who has encountered Rajnikant”
* Rajnikant ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
* If you Google search “Rajnikant getting his ass kicked” you will generate zero results. It just doesn’t happen.
* Rajnikant can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds.
* Rajnikant doesn’t bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
* It takes Rajnikant 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
* The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajnikant kicked one of the corners off.
* There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Rajnikant lives in Chennai.
* Rajnikant once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
* James Cameron wanted Rajnikant to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
* Thousands of years ago Rajnikant came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decedents now have white hair.

FLORENCE NIGHTINGALE
When you rearrange the letters:
FLIT ON CHEERING ANGEL

DILIP VENGSARKAR
When you rearrange the letters:
SPARKLING DRIVE

BARA THEDA
When you rearrange the letters:
ARAB DEATH

PRINCESS DIANA
When you rearrange the letters:
END IS A CAR SPIN

MONICA LEWINSKY
When you rearrange the letters:
NICE SILKY WOMAN

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE :
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES – LET’S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z ‘S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

.
.

AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:

MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER

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